I Won't Break In Your House and Nurse Your Baby But...

But I do wish I had one more to nurse (nursing my little is hands down one of the greatest experiences in my life, ending it was tragic).  Please tell me you remember this crazy lady from the recent news.  Well, I'm not that crazy, at least I don't think I am, but maybe.  Who knows, but now that my baby child is nearing the ripe old age of three I hear "so when are you having another?" more and more.  Yesterday it was thrown in my face - in a major way.

I get it, it's a natural, though nosy question.  I get that babies are exciting.  But for us, it would take a miracle.  I'd give anything for that miracle, but it's not happening.  We're smart enough to not put ourselves through that, to put our family through that, to put a baby through that.  I could never live with myself knowing I willingly put my baby in harms way and to even attempt another would be doing just that.  And yes, I love even my unborn baby too much for that.

My little miracle man.

So please don't ask for the details if I don't offer them.   I don't want to relive with you the weekly trips to the MFM doctor and the daily trips to the doctor and hospital to be monitored.  I don't want to have to explain deformities within me and how my body attacked my baby and how he could have been taken from us and just how close we came.  I don't want to have to explain how preterm labor was actually a blessing because of other complications.  Unless you are holding your own little miracle, one you almost didn't have, you won't understand.  Believe me when I tell you that I'm endlessly happy that you won't ever understand. 

So when I politely tell you that we can't have another, can we just leave it at that?  Do you not understand the basic grammatical difference between can't and won't?  Do you have to ask about my fertility, my husband's fertility, explain your opinions on my adopting a child, ask about our finances and insurance, and ask if I just think one kid is too hard?  I'm sure your heartburn was miserable, so was mine but that's not our reason for not trying again.  And to the lady who told me yesterday that it must have been nice not to have been pregnant for an entire nine months and get a tiny baby instead of a fat one, because you were huge and so was your baby, suck it.  You obviously don't get it.

Inspired by someone with no common sense who was over comfortable with our a mild aquantiance type relationship.  One day I may write more about not having another baby and the whys of it but it's currently a rather touchy and teary subject for me.  I didn't like feeling cornered up by someone with no common sense who can make and birth babies as easy as rabbits.