Thursday, September 22, 2011
Tuesday, September 20, 2011
Some parts of my mess aren't quite as easy to clean up as folded laundry and vacuumed rugs, though we did just have to buy a new vacuum thanks to a small fire with the old one. Some parts are requiring some additional dirty work.
Step 5: Vacation. We're still in the planning stages, but we think we've narrowed down week in January to escape, just the three of us. It's hard to head west without having expectations from other friends and family members of time to be spent with them (not that we don't love seeing everyone, it's just not a vacation), so we're thinking of heading a little north to check out this place for a few days. I know winter and driving north don't usually jive together, but it's the closest place to us!
Step 6: Me. I've been making time to exercise more, mostly running, because it's easy and free (I like the free part the best). The Husband and I are also considering doing the 30 day shred together. I've got an appointment to get my hair cut (my last one was in April - sad, really just sad.) and my nails done. Here's hoping that I get a massage appointment for our anniversary! I've also been making more time for friends and I've actually said "no" to people lately - it's hard but in the end I've been very happy I said no.
Step 7: The holidays. I know, that may seem crazy to put that on a "clean up" list, but not for us. Last year, once Christmas was over, we were really just thankful our boy was too small to remember it. Yes, he had a splendid time but the Husband and I - not so much. On November 10th of last year we found out he was loosing his job, it took until the Monday after Christmas for that to actually happen. The roller coaster we were needlessly put on because two overly arrogant rich people couldn't agree on a boat was more than our holiday spirit could handle. So this year, we've already set aside our Christmas budget and booked a weekend to go see a Christmas show and visit with family. I pretty much married Clark Griswold in the Christmas department, and he's hell bent on a "good old fashioned Griswold family Christmas" this year. (If you don't understand Christmas Vacation references, we can't be friends.). However, we vowed the other day to not disrespect the Turkey and give Thanksgiving it's proper due because we've got to many things to be thankful for.
Step 8: The job. I used to like my job. It's always been considered the "fun" job where I work. It's a warm fuzzy, good PR, make people happy kind of job. Well, it used to be. Now it's nastiness politics, aggressive budgeting, cut throat, not so fun, people aren't happy anymore kind of mess. I work very hard to give a lot of people in this state warm fuzzy memories of their fishing trips and budget and personnel cuts have made that difficult here lately, thankfully for the most part people are patient and understanding. But the understanding stops at the front door, poor leadership and dirty politics run-a-muck in this place. Work place moral is poor to say the least, and when you have to come and sit around a bunch of miserable people who are all working to stab one another in the back to get ahead/keep their job all.day.long. when you really want to be hanging out with your kid will eventually make the "fun" job miserable and in turn, I am now miserable here.
My biggest challenge is that we live in a tourist town. A small one. And seasonal work is so common that many people rely on unemployment to see them through the winter, every winter. That doesn't exactly fit in with our budget. To find a job to replace the money I make plus benefits has been next to impossible. I look, all the time, and so far to no avail. Now we're willing for me to take a pay cut, sure, but then we'd be looking for something for me to work from home and at least cut the daycare expenses. Around here, that's a tall order. We've upstarted the Husband's business this year and with far more success than we could have dreamed of - we're hoping that perhaps we can do the same for me in the next few years. And please feel free to offer suggestions.
I know we all have our messes... some are dirtier than others, some make us feel small and helpless, but for me there has been a lot of good change that has come from them these past few weeks.
Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God; I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.
Monday, September 19, 2011
I love fall :) this past weekend was our first real taste of what is in store over the next few months here! Fall is also my favorite time here at the beach - no tourist (sorry, but it gets a little crowded at times), best surfing, the air is not to hot and not to cold and the water temps are still just right! It's also football season, my kiddo rocked his #17 Rivers jersey pretty much all weekend (he's super cool like that). And since it's football season we hung out at my in-laws last night and watched football, so our lasagnas from last week were traded for shrimp and moved to this week!
Monday - Lasagna with salad
Tuesday - Country fried steak with green beans and potatoes
Wednesday - Church dinner
Thursday - Date Night - Wedding Anniversary :)
Friday - Shepard's Pie with salad
Saturday - Grilled pork chops and grilled veggies
Sunday - Homemade pizza and watching football
I hope everyone has a wonderful week! Please head over to orgjunkie.com where I'm linking up my menu plan and check out all of the other menus for this week!
Thursday, September 15, 2011
Thank you, to everyone who sent me such sweet emails (and for my sweet comment :)!) Things are being worked on and slowly made better. It has been a very long time since life in general has gotten the best of me.
Step One: Get the house back in order. It is very unlike me to have a load of laundry even cool in the dryer so to have oh, ten or so loads clean and piled up was unusual to say the least. I am so thankful to have a wonderfully helpful husband who, despite his long hours will come home and do anything that needs to be done. He's really pretty darn wonderful. So the laundry was vanquished and the house shined up. There is still one closet to be worked on (yes, we took it that far) and some paper organizing to be done (largely business oriented), but at least I can breathe when I walk in the door.
Step Two: Chat with the Doc. I love her, we talked about making changes to life style over changes in medication. Since little A was born I have been wrecked with anxiety and she felt like that was still being managed well. But she also prescribed me a vacation. No joke. I have it in writing that I am to have one by our next appointment and then we'll revisit the anxiety. And while we still have no idea what we'll do about that exactly, we're working on a plan.
Step Three: It's no secret in our house that Momma is hands down the winner for everything, and by that I mean little A doesn't even want Daddy to help him go potty most days. But I needed for that to stop in some fashion. New house rule - if Daddy isn't fishing (because that means he leaves for work at 4 a.m.), Daddy is getting you ready for daycare. Other than having a clean and caught up house, this alone has done wonders for my sanity.
Step Four: A nice long chat with a friend - that wasn't about all of my stresses. Just being a listener can put a lot of things in perspective.
And there's still more cleaning that's being done....
Tuesday, September 13, 2011
I've been running, full steam ahead, in survival mode for months now. My husband has been working 80 and 90 hour weeks, with me working a forty hour a week job (that I loathe), managing my husband's business while he's working, being a mom, a wife, a cook, a doctor, a cleaning service, accountant, a friend, always being the one to pick up everyone's slack, being the girl that never says no to anyone, for any reason. I was simply being a good girl in my mind. But when you go like this, it's bound to catch up with you at the worst time possible, and of course, it did.
A Friday morning. My husband, holding my toddler both of them were at the door we were all about to leave - and to say I burst into tears is an understatement. I was crying in classic girl cry fashion where there were all of these tears and no one could understand my words, but the neighbor's hunting hound started howling. The house was a disaster, dishes to be done, unmade beds that would make Martha Stewart cringe, and the laundry piles were starting to be new residents in the house. Me, I was the worst part of the mess. Running late for work (again), un-showered, smeared make-up from the day before, wrecked hair that I had not even given thought to brushing, coffee already spilled in my shoes. And this had become the norm.
It all caught up with me.
I was not the beautiful mess of a working mom who was just running a little behind that day, I was a full blown and exhausted disaster. I was sobbing to my husband that I can't do this anymore, I can't keep up this pace, I want to quit my job, I want to be able to take care of myself, of my family, I'm tired of rushing around, I'm tired of kissing my baby good night to turn around and work more, I need more help, I'm tired, I need a vacation - "I need something" - I demanded it, but I had no idea what that something was. I did only two things that day, called my doctor about my anxiety meds, and survived it.
Me - I've always been the girl who could make it happen - whatever needed to happen - for everyone else despite myself - so long as everyone was happy. How did I get here? - begging to get off the ride, feeling like a nut job for crying like that in front of my child, feeling so exhausted with everyday life that it was a chore and in desperate need of a shower.
More importantly - what was I going to do about it?
Realizing this story will take awhile to tell, needs to be told and that it isn't over yet, this is to be continued...
Monday, September 12, 2011
We're slowly getting back on track after a crazy summer of work and play! By week's end there will be some amazing surf hitting the beach and some nice cool temperatures tempting us with fall. This week also brings the return of Wednesday night dinners at our Church. We're hoping to make it to a lot more of them this year and give ourselves a break from cooking along with the fellowship of friends! I'm also trying a new planning format (I'll have a whole other post on the switch & why) which has moved my grocery day and I hope it will be a good move for my time and our family!
I hope that everyone has a fantastic week! Please visit over at orgjunkie.com where I'm linking up my menu to check out all the other great menu plans this week!
Monday - Steaks, baked potatoes, and broccoli
Tuesday - Chicken stir fry with rice
Wednesday - Church Dinner
Thursday - Hamburgers on the grill with fries and grilled veggies
Friday - PW's Perfect Pot Roast
Saturday - Grilled triggerfish with mango & pineapple salsa
Sunday - Lasagna with salad and garlic bread (making 2 and freezing one for later)
Tuesday, September 6, 2011
Did August ever sucker punch us! August is in general a very busy month for us, the Husband is fishing the last of the billfish tournaments for the year (usually he's gone for 3 weeks to do this) and it's a very busy month at my office too, not to mention everyday life with a toddler. But this year fishing plans came to a screeching halt thanks to Irene. Hurricane Irene. The "H" word is a dirty word around here, and it had been a while since we had to worry about such a powerful storm. Earl was a total flake last year, before that there was Hannah, Ophelia, and Isabel - flake, mediocre, meant business. Irene meant business, she was barreling at us as a Category 3 storm, and we're so thankful that she was downgraded to a Category 2 as she reached our shores. There was devastation in places that is unimaginable, and even now there are people still in shelters and who have no homes to return to. We were so very blessed and had little damage. A heap of yard debris, shingles gone off the roof. Irene wasn't done with us though - water blown in under our house caused our central air unit to short out on Saturday - (the A/C guy said it takes a while for the wires to corrode and that now it's happening all over town) we had to wait until this morning to get it repaired. But seeing your neighbors in need and going without things we so often take for granted (power, a charged cell phone...) will reset you firmly on the ground and remind you of the many blessings that go uncounted.
The back side of Irene's EyeWall winds here are sustained at about 80 mph
The dock where the Husband ties up his boat being destroyed
We didn't evacuate, but we did relocate because of concerns we had about our roof. The Husband's boss was kind enough to let us stay at their condo which in turn gave us a front row seat to what was going to happen with the water - something we'd never been able to see before. And I can say that watching the eye of a hurricane pass right over your head is something you won't soon forget. It puts a very heavy feeling in your stomach when you look at your boarded up house in your rear view mirror, not knowing what Mother Nature has in store for you. Irene was wicked - and lasted forever - she hung around for just over 36 hours. That's a long time to be hanging out with 90 mile an hour winds.
House boarded up, "Cooking" Spaghetti O's for the Toddler, &
The SOLID concrete sign where we stayed.
We spent so much time cleaning up our yard after the storm we didn't do our usual drive around and check out damage, but the pier in my header is nearly 1/3 gone, another pier completely gone, and our friends in Hatteras Village were only allowed back to their homes yesterday.
We continue to pray for those who lost so much more than we did and remember to count our blessings.